The State of Philosophy Five Minutes Before Cynicism

Previously in this series, Five Minutes Before Stoicism: "If you stub your toe, there's really nothing you can do besides scream and cry about it."

Ceramic jars, or pithos are useful for mass storage and shipping of goods like barley, wine, oil, et cetera, but there is no reason for a person to sleep inside of one

Same goes for barrels and tubs

Traditional places for sleeping – homes, beds, couches, mats, and so on – are best.

Similarly, there is no need for any philosopher to use a candle or lantern during the day. That's what the sun is for!

The absence of pain and robust, lucid equanimity are pretty much the same thing. You can use them interchangeably.

There's a little artificiality in almost all human conduct and affairs. That's understandable!

If I were to meet Alexander of Macedon, I would speak to him respectfully, because of his many victories. My esteem for his achievements would appropriately inhibit my speech

The sun is so big that no single person could get in the way of my enjoyment of its rays

If you're going to meet with a king, it's important to look your best

Lentils are pretty good but I wouldn't want to eat them every day

I don't see how a wallet could hurt anybody

If I were ever convicted of debasing the currency, I would certainly refrain from criticizing the habits and conduct of the Athenians!

A life of ponos? Not for me, thanks very much!

Sure, some social conventions are worth critiquing. But I certainly wouldn't flout them

And there's no value in rubbing people's faces in their shortcomings, or the errors of their ways. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. Plus you get more flies with honey!

It's pretty important that humans and dogs have different standards for hygiene, grooming, the distinction between public and private, money, power, et cetera. Dogs are well enough but there's not much they can teach us about how to live

Death is certainly something worth worrying about. What if it hurts??

You never know what someone else may be going through, so keep an open and cheerful mind! Be patient with the faults of others, and you'll find friends wherever you go

If I ever came into a large fortune I'd use it to enjoy myself, and I sure would be sad if I lost it

Sober reasoning is all well and good but it's nothing compared to a nice feast