And Where the Fuck Was Lawrence Yee?

Rob Yang as Lawrence Yee and Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy in "Succession."
Rob Yang as Lawrence Yee and Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy. Photograph by Peter Kramer/HBO.

Piss man out.

During the last ever episode of Succession, which aired last night, Kendall Roy spoke aloud the following golden lines:

Pick up, Stewy. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Stewy.
Stewy. Stewy, there you are.
Are you with me? Talk to me.
Good man. Good man. I knew you wouldn't do me dirty like that.
Oh, I'm... I'm just, uh, making a pit stop. I found Roman. I mean, I always had Roman, but this is just like "nailed" nailed.
With Lawrence Yee? Vaul... Vaulter Lawrence?
What shape does that make?
(Loudly) Romey!
Where are you?
Hello, hello. The hunt for Red fucking October is over!

You'll recall that Yee once threatened to eat the Roy children. It was hot. Then Kendall blocked the wi-fi and fired all Yee's staff, "Because [his] dad told [him] too."

If ever there were a deus to come tumbling down ex machina with dramaturgical legitimacy, it could have been Yee. What better to crush Shiv than an anvil labeled "digital media" falling on her head?

And what happened? Fuck all. "I'm the eldest boy! I AM THE ELDEST BOY!"

I'm post-grieving. The last episode of Succession just retrod the same old ending again, the one they always do. "The prince killed the peasant, alas, structural inequality, alack." I liked the Antiques Roadshow joke, but fucking hell. The point of Shakespeare is that he already happened.