Would You Rather? Work Edition

A quiz

Would you rather

• ...do a job where every day you had to have a half-hour conversation with

a) somebody you very slightly dislike but who obviously likes you a lot

b) somebody you like a lot who obviously very slightly dislikes you

• ...be remunerated in direct correspondence with

a) the work that you produce

b) the time you take to do it

c) the value (of any kind) you add

• ...handle a thorny telephone conversation (it has to be on the telephone) with a superior by

a) calling the superior but you can't have an appointment, it's whenever

b) them calling you at an appointed hour

c) whoever gets there first

• ...experience a terrible and well-publicized fire at the office out of which

a) you save all your colleagues through feats of heroism requiring you to be connected to each other for the rest of your lives through a group text

b) your colleagues save you, who froze in terror, and you never see them again except in dreams

• ...organize your appointments by

a) letting people book for themselves from a list of open slots on your Calendly or similar

b) manually offering them fewer choices so that you know for sure you won't have to reschedule

c) secretary doing it all and she buys your family all their birthday presents but her whole family loathes you

• ...farm

a) big ranch for retired cattle, singlehandedly

b) bees but it has to be on the roof of the worst Bushwick co-op, no elevator

c) weed in a cooperative with no interview process for volunteers

d) engagement