Hot Wall Paint Colors For The Breast Oncology Office Waiting Room

By Liz Bastos

Light Blue Paper Gown is guaranteed 98% to make the woman on the exam table think, “sky.” 

Dense Breasts is a color-shifting mauve/copper, depending on who’s looking. 

Act fast. We can have our guys there this afternoon to replace your dated white shiplap  in American Science with Dense Breasts, Br. var. (which includes Translucent IV Drip in London to make it more clearly copper).

 See how it oysters in the light? Benign is a soft nacre fawn. Gorge! Yet it is so rarely used?!? We have drums of Benign in our warehouse—how about we cover the whole office in it and—

Wait. 

Shit.

Sorry. That’s not Benign. 

This is why we do further imaging! This is why we have a portable CT scan. To double check paint chips! That’s not Benign. That’s Suspicious Mass, Left Breast. Sorry. Don’t panic! Don’t cry!

We work with dull taupes all the time. 

We’ll just stripe Suspicious Mass, Left Breast with the arrogant navy of Male Surgeon and you’ll see. It’ll be very chic. Very French girl.

Yes, Lymphedema is always a risk. It’s that pink. But we think it’s one of those “fun” risky pinks, especially with Positive Sentinel Lymph Node's peach.

Are you sure you want to do a whole wall in it? How about a small alcove? Feeding My Pathology Report Into Claude!!!!! is costly, containing crushed pearl and using a ton of energy and it can be misinterpreted. Wouldn’t you rather have Real Doctor’s silver stethoscope?

Are you looking for a particular nipple? The luxe chestnut of Nipples of Venus from the 1987 movie Amadeus, for example?

Featured in Architectural Digest is St. Agatha's Tongs an ironblack satin used for window trim, named after the Sicilian martyr who had her breasts removed by tongs. It’s not for everyone is it? However, Medieval Medicine is currently a legitimate treatment plan.

Consider the Friar Lawrence’s Medicinal Garden palette of herbals for a taste.

It can be too passive aggressive too yellow, but in the right waiting room It’s Probably Nothing* At Your One Year Appt. Post Double Mastectomy it will pop (and we’ll give you a deal if you buy in bulk).

*but let’s ultrasound to be sure sure