Everyone agrees what we have now, i.e.: vacuum sealed shingle packages, is absurd.
- Stacked like tissues in a nice little resealable box.
- Placed end-to-end and rolled into a spiral like a fruit roll-up.
- Arranged in a pleasant bouquet like a bunch of limp, meaty flowers.
- Curled into little pinwheels, tied with little ribbons and strung together like a display of Christmas lights.
- Wrapped in corn husks like tamales.
- Wedged into the little plastic compartments inside a Whitman's Sampler box.
- Ensconced in a resilient piñata.
- Squeezed into the plastic bubbles in moderately sized bubble wrap.
- Loaded onto a 35mm film reel.
- Sealed in a terracotta vase decorated with a boar skewering Achilles.
- Pressed between the pages of a library copy of Infinite Jest.
- Sewn into the waistbands of your Shein order.
- Locked in the trunk of a burning Tesla.
- Nestled in one of those iPhone boxes you always keep because gosh you don't want to throw away such a nice box.