Three-Wheelin Feelin
"What the fuck," he said, doing a slow figure eight while keeping a fixed ballerina stare, "is that?"
The Way We Live Now
Strawberries Are Supposed to Be Small
The rent is too damn high, the weed is too damn strong, and now the strawberries are too damn big.
Don't Buy Your Child a Robot Friend
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People Ought to Stop Emailing Me
Sometimes I think I'm done answering emails and then I get more emails in response to the emails I thought had sorted out the last of the questions anybody wanted to ask me. Also I get emails every time I buy a shirt.