Types of Saints, Ranked

Sad

Child saints :(

Pedestrian

The Right-believing/The Most Orthodox

The Righteous

The Holy Unmercenaries (very cool name, but just amounted to everyone who refused to accept payment for good deeds)

The Virgins

The Military Saints

The Doctors of the Church (wrote canon theology)

Fine

The Passionbearers (not necessarily present at the Passion; merely faced their deaths "in a Christlike manner")

The Confessors (some torture)

The Equal-to-apostles

Okay now we're talking

The Thaumaturgists (wonderworkers)

The Great Martyrs (excessively tortured)

The Venerable (Bede!!!!!)

The Saint Companions (good friends with another saint <3)

Okay!!!!

The Myroblytes (those whose relics emit the Oil of Saints or odor of sanctity)

The Myrrhbearers (discoverers of the empty tomb)

Folk Saints (enough locals decided someone dead was a saint that the church later rubber-stamps it)

Now that's religion!!

The Anchorites (tucked away inside of walls)

The Stylites (hiding on top of poles and towers)

The Phallic saints (Saints who later become associated with fertility/priapic imagery, almost always because of clerical errors (confusion of "Guignolé" for "gignere," etc)

The Foolish-for-Christ

The grazers (lived like cattle)

The Cephalophore (carry their own severed heads)

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]